Me: Goose, you like this sauce. It's yummy.
Goose: Oh. Did I eat this before and I liked it?
Me: Yes.
Goose: Oh! I like it! (continues to eat the entire bowl of pasta)
Tetrakiss - Lab Monkey turned Monkey Wrangler
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Guilty
I was in the basement doing some much needed reorganizing when I heard a thunk. Little E cried, the cry quickly turned to into a whimper and then quieted. I considered going up to investigate, but Jimmy-John was upstairs with the kids and Little E wasn’t crying anymore, there was no need for me to interject myself in the situation.
“Mom?”
“Yes Goose.”
“Um, I was hugging Little E and I let go and he bonked his head on the corner of the bench and he cried and cried. But I helped him and he’s ok now.”
“Is Daddy upstairs”
“Yes”
“Did he help Little E?”
“No, I did.”
“Where is Daddy?”
“In here.” (she pointed at the bathroom door, the shower was running)
“Where’s Little E?”
“Upstairs in our room.”
I followed her up and found Little E cuddled up in his bed, sucking his thumb and surrounded with all of the most coveted toys.
“See, I helped him stop crying.”
Little E was reluctant to show me the wound, but when I finally got to it, this is what I found:
Monday, November 23, 2009
Two outta Three Ain't Bad
Three public experiences this week with my kids. We’re finally getting to the place where the good outweighs the bad. (You can read about a typical past excursion here.)
As a reward for going to sleep without me in the bed with them, I took my kids to lunch at Ikea. Ikea is always a big excursion for us; it’s just far enough away to be a troublesome outing. The long drive plus the intense stimulation it provides the kiddos tends to provoke at least one meltdown.
This trip had all the earmarks of disaster. It was occurring after preschool (read: kids already overstimulated) and would delve deep into prime nap time. We were also taking friends, Tarheel and Charlie. Or rather, the friends were taking us in their souped up minivan complete with built-in DVD player. The kids were bursting with excitement.
The 4 year old girls, having known each other since birth, were fighting like sisters: Tarheel was bossing Goose, and Goosie was either yelling back or passive-aggressively ignoring any attempt Tarheel made at conversation. Little E and Charlie just wanted to sleep.
Once in Ikea, the kids perked up and nothing of note occurred during lunch. (We did have two spills and a little bit of refusal to keep shoes on, but nothing out of the ordinary.) As we were cleaning up and letting the kids go off to play in the toy area an older man came up to my friend and me and proceed to compliment us on our “patience and good humor” with the kids and that watching us had been enjoyable.
Woah. What? Did that really just happen? I mean, I’ve had people stare. I’ve had people look away in embarrassment. I’ve even had people angrily call my children unruly monkeys. But, I have NEVER had someone compliment me with regard to my children in a public setting. I’m still floating. Now, I realize that the man was not really complimenting my children’s behavior, rather our reactions to it, but at this point I’ll take what I can get.
Number 2: Cows at the Grocery
At
My kids rank pretty high on the curiosity scale and everything in the grocery store apparently begs to be investigated. Staying in or near the cart is a constant challenge for my children, so I alternately use bribes, threats and time-outs. Honestly, I’ll use anything that works. I even regularly open grocery items for my children to consume before checking-out. (It shocks me how often I do this when I think how opposed I was to it just 18 months ago.)
This particular trip I was trying to get trough with frequent reminders of appropriate behavior: “Stay by Mommy”, “Don’t touch that”, “Don’t climb on that cart, it’s not ours”, you know, the typical stuff. Goose has figured out that it is easier to just load things into the cart than to ask permission for it and was shopping accordingly. I put the non-dairy creamer back. I put the chocolate soy milk back. But when the mini Nillas landed in the cart it was as if the heavens opened and angels sang.
I opened up the box and told the children they could have them if they stayed close. I doled them out one at a time while the kids jingled behind. The individual cookies were so quickly consumed that a child could not wander far between bites. And if Little E did stray, his ringing bell (and his accompanying moos) betrayed him before any “fun” could be had.
I made it out in record time.
Number 3: Park Play Date
This one still perplexes me. Goose was rested, fed, getting exercise and outside time, and playing well with friends. The friends started leaving, nap time was nearing and I gave Goose and Little E the standard 5 minute warning. 3 minutes. 2 minutes. No friends left. (One stranger still enjoyed the swings.) 1 minute. Blast off.
Goose was still defiantly playing. I tried the patient method. I picked up Little E and started walking. “Good-bye, we’re leaving.” Oh ,why did I park so far away from the playground? I hid behind a tree; Goose hid inside the slide. She won the stand-off. I stomped onto the mulch, fuming. “GOOSE! We’re Leaving!” She chose her best weapon – speed. This 4 year old can almost outrun me. She screamed as the chase closed. I picked her up. She flailed her arms and legs, she smacked me in the face. She wailed like she was enduring some medieval torture.
I cannot say I keep my cool. I blew my lid. I yelled back; I ranted; I flipped her over my shoulder and carried her sack-of-potato style. In the end she endured a time-out and was grounded from the park for a week (it’s up to two weeks now because she snuck out of time-out).
Sigh. So, we’re not there yet. But, two outta three ain’t bad.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
A Germ-a-phobe's Panacea
I went to London once. When I was there I used something I had never seen in the U.S. : a pay toilet. It was a free standing booth in a park somewhere. I used it more out of novelty than need. When I inserted the coins, the door opened and I was admitted into a pristine lavatory. After I left, the apparently water-tight door shut behind me and the booth cleaned and disinfected itself using a series of strategically placed jets. Doing business there was a pleasure (especially compared to some of the non-pay toilets I had visited during my trip). So wonderful is the self-cleaning toilet, that even DC metro has invested in a pot or two, which you can read about here.
Since that time, I have often daydreamed what life would be like if that pay-toilet technology were more pervasive. How about, for instance, having one installed in your own home? Who doesn't hate slapping on those long rubber gloves for a good scrubbing of the john? But why stop at the toilet? This self-cleaning concept could be used for any number of things. A car. A kitchen. A dining area. A grocery cart handle. According to my husband, one of the Honda Element's best selling points is that you can spray it out with a hose after the kids goo up the floor. (You can't really - unless you like shorting out your dash electronics - but, it is easy to sweep with a broom and mop.) Of course, the expense of the installation and maintenance of these home self-cleaning fixtures wouldn't be worth the benefit.
Since that time, I have often daydreamed what life would be like if that pay-toilet technology were more pervasive. How about, for instance, having one installed in your own home? Who doesn't hate slapping on those long rubber gloves for a good scrubbing of the john? But why stop at the toilet? This self-cleaning concept could be used for any number of things. A car. A kitchen. A dining area. A grocery cart handle. According to my husband, one of the Honda Element's best selling points is that you can spray it out with a hose after the kids goo up the floor. (You can't really - unless you like shorting out your dash electronics - but, it is easy to sweep with a broom and mop.) Of course, the expense of the installation and maintenance of these home self-cleaning fixtures wouldn't be worth the benefit.
Nope, I was wrong; I'd pay for that.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Spring Cleaning Part IV: Secret Admirer
In the movie "Little Women" (I don't think the same quote is found in the book) Jo March says: "With all this transcendence there is much emphasis on perfecting oneself.....I am afraid I am hopelessly flawed." As I have mentioned, tidiness has always been a flaw of mine. I have been devoting a lot of energy, thought, and sweat into improving myself in this area. I feel like my efforts have been in vain, although my husband assures me I've made great strides. In my ridiculous quest for a catalog-worthy home, I've surreptitiously observed other people's strategies for housekeeping and I'd like to pay homage to those who have inspired and taught me the most. Although I don't expect, or even desire, to imitate these people completely, I do admire their strengths and observing them has encouraged me in continuing to improve myself.
The Giving One: This person (couple really) is a true minimalist. Their children's toys fit in one small toy box. Their furniture is nice and leaves the room open and inviting. Almost everytime I've gone over to their small apartment it has been nearly spotless despite the fact two very energetic kids under five spend all day there. Quite frequently, I find myself being offered toys, furniture, etc. by The Giving One. While I will hang on to a mangled, stained towel thinking it would make a great cloth diaper soaker should I ever find the time to actually sew the diapers, The Giving One has absolutely no problem shedding surperfluous items. Nothing they own is junk or cluttler. Everything has a purpose, and usually an immediate one. That which they give away is in good condition - they just don't have a need for it, or perhaps room for it, anymore. The giving is done more with relief than regret. I think we could all with more of that in our lives.
The Naturalist: This person is naturally inclinded to be neat. I can only it is a result of an need to overachieve and control her surroundings. I have the same need, but this person seems much better at actually obtaining it. An amazingly high-functioning person, she holds a job, has a child, pursues hobbies and has an immaculate house. I have noticed that she plans things in great detail and with careful thought. (Contrast that to my haphazard lifestyle with one half of my mind doing laps in another universe while the other half is trying to figure out where I put that glass of milk. Amazingly, this planning stuff seems to be effective. Huh. I'll put planning on my to-do list for tomorrow.) But, what I admire most about this person, despite her seeming inability to fail, is her compassion and empathy for others. The Naturalist exudes kindness and is very slow to pass judgment on another person, regardless of their shortcomings.
The Nike: A winged Goddess and the anti-procrastinator. This person's house is also always very neat. I realized why following a dinner party at our house. I am inclinded to clear the table - to make room for the Scrabble board - and pile the dishes in the sink. Why do dishes while there is fun to be had? Wouldn't it be rude to hole in the kitchen and get that task done? The Nike took me back in the kitchen and helped me do them right away. She taught me that a lot of the tasks I put off can be completed more quickly and painlessly than I anticipate if done immediately. What's a few more seconds per plate to rinse and load that beautiful dishwasher of mine?
The Meh: This person has a lot of stuff, her house is not particularly organized, but she doesn't care much. Her house isn't terriblely disorganized; it is usually tidy, the floors clear and so fort, but, toys are often spread the entirety of the house, shelves are stuffed with random artifacts of life, and clothes piled in corners of bedrooms. The Meh spends a reasonable amount of time cleaning but doesn't let the cleaning prevent her from pursuing more enjoyable activities. The Meh doesn't agonize about her imperfect housekeeping and even sees it as a badge of an interesting life.
The Fellow Organizationally-Challenged Pack-Rat (TFOCPR): I think I admire this person the most. The TFOCPR is a person who, like me, attracts stuff. Also like me, this person has a desire to change the current state of her house. This person is married to another TFOCPR: one that doesn't want to change. With not much encouragement (and actually quite a bit of resistance), this person has incrementally but significantly improved her tidiness quotient. I have witnessed the effort she invested in making a personal change in habits and am elated to see her success. From Olympic athelete to a child mastering the alphabet, there is something magical about seeing someone work hard to and succeed in improving themselves, no matter the details of the struggle. TFOCPR, I salute you!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Spring Cleaning Part III: Outsourcing
The top five things couples fight about, in order, are:
For us? Money - nope. Sex - occasionally an tiff. Work - only when I tell him to stop whining so much (about once a month). Children - ok, this we do fight over, but not nearly as much as HOUSEWORK.
I don't get this. My husband is not the neatest person in the world. I remember being disgusted almost to gagging when I used his bachelor pad bathroom (and no it wasn't his roommate's dirt, he had his own bathroom). His idea of putting his clothing away is stacking it in piles on TOP of the dresser. But, I digress.
Cleaning, who would do it and how it was done, became more of an issue when Goose came along. I worked hard to keep things mostly tidy, but didn't enjoy that as much as cooing at my beautiful baby. Jimmy-John grumbled here and there, but it wasn't until we moved into a house with no dishwasher that things really escalated.
Both of us abhor doing dishes.
Jimmy-John being out of the house most of the day, and the squeakier wheel, meant the task fell to me. The most vivid memory I have of the first two months of Little E's life is the day I figured out how to keep a grumpy 2 year old and a needy newborn happy while actually getting dishes clean. I put the baby in the sling, ignored the growing flood waters at my feet as Goose splashed happily, and sang to everyone. I think I spent at least half of Little E's first year standing at the kitchen sink.
Dishes became THE sore spot in our marriage. Which why I do not use one smidge of hyperbole when I say the best 200 bucks I have ever spent was used to purchase a portable dishwasher.
A year later and I'm still in love. 15 minutes to load, 5 to unload. A pleasant shrring as the water fills the sink. Shiny dry plates. No forks returned to the "dirty" side of the sink by quality control. Oh yeah, and I still love my husband.
By the way, if any one can tell me how to get those ridiculous flowers back into normal bullets, or a numbered list, I'd be most grateful.
- Money
- Sex
- Work
- Children
- Housework
For us? Money - nope. Sex - occasionally an tiff. Work - only when I tell him to stop whining so much (about once a month). Children - ok, this we do fight over, but not nearly as much as HOUSEWORK.
I don't get this. My husband is not the neatest person in the world. I remember being disgusted almost to gagging when I used his bachelor pad bathroom (and no it wasn't his roommate's dirt, he had his own bathroom). His idea of putting his clothing away is stacking it in piles on TOP of the dresser. But, I digress.
Cleaning, who would do it and how it was done, became more of an issue when Goose came along. I worked hard to keep things mostly tidy, but didn't enjoy that as much as cooing at my beautiful baby. Jimmy-John grumbled here and there, but it wasn't until we moved into a house with no dishwasher that things really escalated.
Both of us abhor doing dishes.
Jimmy-John being out of the house most of the day, and the squeakier wheel, meant the task fell to me. The most vivid memory I have of the first two months of Little E's life is the day I figured out how to keep a grumpy 2 year old and a needy newborn happy while actually getting dishes clean. I put the baby in the sling, ignored the growing flood waters at my feet as Goose splashed happily, and sang to everyone. I think I spent at least half of Little E's first year standing at the kitchen sink.
Dishes became THE sore spot in our marriage. Which why I do not use one smidge of hyperbole when I say the best 200 bucks I have ever spent was used to purchase a portable dishwasher.
A year later and I'm still in love. 15 minutes to load, 5 to unload. A pleasant shrring as the water fills the sink. Shiny dry plates. No forks returned to the "dirty" side of the sink by quality control. Oh yeah, and I still love my husband.
By the way, if any one can tell me how to get those ridiculous flowers back into normal bullets, or a numbered list, I'd be most grateful.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Spring Cleaning Part II: A Few of my Favorite Things
I apologize for the delay: I caught the flu the day after Part I, and in the subsequent weeks endured (as a mother not a patient) two cases of pink eye, one ear infection and one overdose of Milk of Magnesia (resulting in a trip to the ER and several blow-out diapers). Most of this also occurred while my husband relaxed in Hawaii. Poor guy. Enough "poor me"; here it is, Part II. Thanks for the nudge, RW.
I may stink at keeping things clean, but I'm pretty good at the actual cleaning - once I get around to it. This post is dedicated to my favorite products and techniques. Mostly my laundry super-stain-fighting secrets! So, get me a cape and teach me to fly. I really do have super powers.
I like to think that my background in chemistry gives me an edge over the average housewife when it comes to getting stains out of clothing. But, it probably has more to do with my mad Google skills than with my chemistry knowledge (shhh, don't tell anyone that). Below are a list of my favorite products and the stain(s) that they remove.
Hydrogen Peroxide: My aunt, a nurse, turned me on to this one. Blood, fresh or dried, can be mostly removed by pouring H2o2 directly on the stain. It bubbles and fizzles pleasantly as it oxidizes away the stain, and the remaining color can usually be washed out by a normal wash cycle. (Chemical principle: oxidation)
Bar Keeper's Friend (oxalic acid): gets out rust. and probably blood (although I prefer H202 for that. The fizzing is really that cool. I suggest bleeding on your clothes on purpose just to experience the joy of it.) Make a wet paste on the stain and let sit for a few minutes. Rinse out, launder as normal. This also cleans stainless-steel wonderfully. (Chemical principle: oxidation)
Isopropyl (rubbing) Alcohol: Takes out ink. EVEN SHARPIE INK. I kid you not. In fact I got red sharpie out of Goose's shirt today. The trick to this one is to get to it quickly and to persist, refreshing with new alcohol frequently. (Chemical principles: solubility and if you are lucky you'll get a little home chromatography show as you separate the ink's components.)
Zote Soap. This is a new addition to my arsenal. A latin soap my sister introduced to me. It removes yellow deodorant stains from white shirts with a little soaking and a LOT of elbow grease. Nothing else I've tried has made a dent in deodorant stains. Plus it smells nice. (Chemical principle: emulsification, i.e. soap)
Lestoil. This is a grease cutter made by Clorox, but it is hard to find. I get it in the cleaning aisle in my grocery store. It's main ingredients are petroleum distillates and pine oil. It is really amazing on grease stains. For some reason I always wash and dry chapstick. Baked in grease is impossible to remove, say most laundry bibles. Not so! Rub this stinky stuff into the oil spots, wash normally, and air dry (repeat as necessary). When the stain comes out you will probably want to wash an additional two times to get the stinkiness of the lestoil out. Pine-Sol may also work for this, as it also contains pine oil (although I think the petroleum distillates do most of the work, in which case - perhaps Goo-Gone?) but I haven't tried it yet. When I do, I'll post an update. Note to self: as amazing as lestoil is, it's probably easier just to check your jean pockets before starting the wash. (Chemical principle: solubility)
When all else fails Oxi-Clean. A few scoops in a bucket full of scalding hot water (more than the box recommends), and soak forever (at least 24 hours). This works on a lot of stains that have even been through the dryer. Baby food bananas (amazingly difficult to get out), baby poop (also amazingly difficult to remove), tomato sauce, chocolate, dirt, and any unidentified stain goes straight into this. (Chemical principle: um, duh? oxidation)
I hardly use bleach. I don't think getting a stain out of a t-shirt is worth ruining the jeans I'm wearing, which is what inevitably happens. I did like the bleach pen for a while, but I ran out and haven't been bothered enough by it's absence to remember to look for it at the store. (Chemical principle: once again, our friend: oxidation)
Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser. I'm just getting to know this product. It's a melanine foam stick that essentially scrapes stains off walls and just about everything else. Crayon on the wall? No problem. I really like this for cleaning cabinet fronts and my dining room walls which get very gross from sticky hands and flung food. I don't use it on the big bumps - like dried oatmeal - it tears the eraser, but all the other goo comes off a lot better with the eraser than with a regular rag. I would recommend buying the name brand product. The Target brand fell apart a lot faster than Mr. Clean. I also do not like the new double-sided sponge. It's a gimmick to put out a new, more expensive product. It was more difficult to use due to the hard interface and fell apart faster.
What's the "Magic"? Melamine is a really hard substance (think melamine countertop). It's still hard when made into a foam, the hard strands are just really tiny and have a lot of air incorporated into them, making the sponge itself soft and supple. When you rub the wall, you are literally scraping off the crayon. (A more detailed explanation is found at How Stuff Works - one of my favorite websites). Just, um, don't give it to your kids as a teether, ok? (Chemical principle: abrasion)
I love all these products for emergencies, but for every day cleaning, most things can be done with water, baking soda, and vinegar. Use water and baking soda for almost anything, vinegar for mirrors/windows, baking soda followed vinegar for clogged and/or stinky drains, etc. I even bathe my children in baking soda baths.
Keep it as simple, keep it cheap, and keep it green. Unless you washed your chapstick (again).
I may stink at keeping things clean, but I'm pretty good at the actual cleaning - once I get around to it. This post is dedicated to my favorite products and techniques. Mostly my laundry super-stain-fighting secrets! So, get me a cape and teach me to fly. I really do have super powers.
I like to think that my background in chemistry gives me an edge over the average housewife when it comes to getting stains out of clothing. But, it probably has more to do with my mad Google skills than with my chemistry knowledge (shhh, don't tell anyone that). Below are a list of my favorite products and the stain(s) that they remove.
Hydrogen Peroxide: My aunt, a nurse, turned me on to this one. Blood, fresh or dried, can be mostly removed by pouring H2o2 directly on the stain. It bubbles and fizzles pleasantly as it oxidizes away the stain, and the remaining color can usually be washed out by a normal wash cycle. (Chemical principle: oxidation)
Bar Keeper's Friend (oxalic acid): gets out rust. and probably blood (although I prefer H202 for that. The fizzing is really that cool. I suggest bleeding on your clothes on purpose just to experience the joy of it.) Make a wet paste on the stain and let sit for a few minutes. Rinse out, launder as normal. This also cleans stainless-steel wonderfully. (Chemical principle: oxidation)
Isopropyl (rubbing) Alcohol: Takes out ink. EVEN SHARPIE INK. I kid you not. In fact I got red sharpie out of Goose's shirt today. The trick to this one is to get to it quickly and to persist, refreshing with new alcohol frequently. (Chemical principles: solubility and if you are lucky you'll get a little home chromatography show as you separate the ink's components.)
Zote Soap. This is a new addition to my arsenal. A latin soap my sister introduced to me. It removes yellow deodorant stains from white shirts with a little soaking and a LOT of elbow grease. Nothing else I've tried has made a dent in deodorant stains. Plus it smells nice. (Chemical principle: emulsification, i.e. soap)
Lestoil. This is a grease cutter made by Clorox, but it is hard to find. I get it in the cleaning aisle in my grocery store. It's main ingredients are petroleum distillates and pine oil. It is really amazing on grease stains. For some reason I always wash and dry chapstick. Baked in grease is impossible to remove, say most laundry bibles. Not so! Rub this stinky stuff into the oil spots, wash normally, and air dry (repeat as necessary). When the stain comes out you will probably want to wash an additional two times to get the stinkiness of the lestoil out. Pine-Sol may also work for this, as it also contains pine oil (although I think the petroleum distillates do most of the work, in which case - perhaps Goo-Gone?) but I haven't tried it yet. When I do, I'll post an update. Note to self: as amazing as lestoil is, it's probably easier just to check your jean pockets before starting the wash. (Chemical principle: solubility)
When all else fails Oxi-Clean. A few scoops in a bucket full of scalding hot water (more than the box recommends), and soak forever (at least 24 hours). This works on a lot of stains that have even been through the dryer. Baby food bananas (amazingly difficult to get out), baby poop (also amazingly difficult to remove), tomato sauce, chocolate, dirt, and any unidentified stain goes straight into this. (Chemical principle: um, duh? oxidation)
I hardly use bleach. I don't think getting a stain out of a t-shirt is worth ruining the jeans I'm wearing, which is what inevitably happens. I did like the bleach pen for a while, but I ran out and haven't been bothered enough by it's absence to remember to look for it at the store. (Chemical principle: once again, our friend: oxidation)
Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser. I'm just getting to know this product. It's a melanine foam stick that essentially scrapes stains off walls and just about everything else. Crayon on the wall? No problem. I really like this for cleaning cabinet fronts and my dining room walls which get very gross from sticky hands and flung food. I don't use it on the big bumps - like dried oatmeal - it tears the eraser, but all the other goo comes off a lot better with the eraser than with a regular rag. I would recommend buying the name brand product. The Target brand fell apart a lot faster than Mr. Clean. I also do not like the new double-sided sponge. It's a gimmick to put out a new, more expensive product. It was more difficult to use due to the hard interface and fell apart faster.
What's the "Magic"? Melamine is a really hard substance (think melamine countertop). It's still hard when made into a foam, the hard strands are just really tiny and have a lot of air incorporated into them, making the sponge itself soft and supple. When you rub the wall, you are literally scraping off the crayon. (A more detailed explanation is found at How Stuff Works - one of my favorite websites). Just, um, don't give it to your kids as a teether, ok? (Chemical principle: abrasion)
I love all these products for emergencies, but for every day cleaning, most things can be done with water, baking soda, and vinegar. Use water and baking soda for almost anything, vinegar for mirrors/windows, baking soda followed vinegar for clogged and/or stinky drains, etc. I even bathe my children in baking soda baths.
Keep it as simple, keep it cheap, and keep it green. Unless you washed your chapstick (again).
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